


The Drug Called Ronan Lynch

by Kiddi



Series: Unattainable Dreams [1]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Background Richard Gansey III, Blow Jobs, Bottom Ronan Lynch, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Drinking, Drunk Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, Hook-Up, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Joseph Kavinsky-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Missing Scene, Nice Joseph Kavinsky, Not Canon Compliant, One-Sided Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch, POV Joseph Kavinsky, Sexual Content, Soft Joseph Kavinsky, THIS IS BOTH, Underage Drinking, Wishful Thinking, allusions to drugs, as in they are both drunk and one of them gets a blow job, enjoy, he knows he cant have him, hes really only mentioned once but ill tag him anyways i guess, i headcanon that they have a past and I will make sure to write it, its not AWFUL, lots of metaphores and allusions eally, not in a bad way but they have done this before, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27163697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiddi/pseuds/Kiddi
Summary: Shortly after Joseph Kavinsky put six bullets into the body of a monster that surely came out from Ronan Lynch's head, he was driving them to a field filled with two hundred white Mitsubishi's.Ronan finally saw Joseph Kavinksy for what he was, he finally made the important connection.Joseph Kavinsky was then driving them back to his house.Joseph Kavinsky was drinking with Ronan Lynch.Joseph Kavinky was kissing Ronan Lynch.Ronan Lynch was a drug, and dying was a boring side effect.
Relationships: Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch
Series: Unattainable Dreams [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987837
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	The Drug Called Ronan Lynch

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely wish fulfilment but I am not in any way going to apologize.
> 
> I have a headcanon that Ronan and Kavinsky have hooked up before because their dynamic is just a bit weird and they play off each other too well.  
> I was reading the Dream Thieves and as soon as I read the chapters where they had their chat and the morning after I knew I absolutely had to add in the missing scene, this is straying from canon a little bit but not enough to affect the story very much
> 
> EDIT 25/10/2020: Due to lovely readers asking for the ommitted scene, I added it in and fixed the tags and rating appropriately

Having Ronan sat next to him in his car was surreal, more so than shooting whatever monster had tried to eat him.

Having Ronan sat in his car meant that to a degree he trusted him enough to get in the car, or he was desperate, either way it made a strange feeling churn in his gut, similar to the sickly feeling he got when he needed to do another line, or another something, but this time he knew he couldn't get another dose of this, it was a one time hit then it was gone.

Even looking at the road, and even with Ronan sitting silent and pretty in the passenger seat, he could feel eyes on him, he could feel the frustration when he didn't change gears properly. That wasn't on purpose, just a quirk of the dream but the car ran and it ran well so he didn't bother to perfect the gear shift.

"My eyes are up here, sweetheart," he drawled, slow and sweet, a smile sliding on his face.

Ronan made a noise beside him and shuffled around, then relaxed in the seat.

The fair grounds were dark, unused for the time being and eerily dark, a great place to be murdered, he thought briefly and shook the thought from his head, focusing on the path they were on. He wasn't the most over dramatic person he knew, but he did want to make a point. He turned to Ronan and leveled him with a serious look. “I know what you are.” 

He watched Ronan still, and saw the flood of thoughts pass through his head all at once as he tried to rationalize what he’s heard, Ronan just stared at him and Joseph knew he was gonna have to see, he needed the proof. So he charged ahead, dropping off from the road and onto the clearing; he slowed down then and made sure to keep a slow and even pace, he wanted Ronan to see his collection of rejects, he wanted Ronan to understand that he knew everything about him, so he kept the pace measured and even, occasionally sneaking glances at Ronan. 

“Goldfish.” He repeated and once he reached the end of his first row of terrible attempts, he turned into the second row and kept going.

He noticed Ronan shift in his seat a little bit. “I guess I’m not the only one with recurring dreams.”

There it was, the moment he put everything together, the moment he _knew_ and Joseph could finally stop their one car motorcade through the field, he hit the brakes and hauled the parking break up and turned to him fully, a smile on his face once again as he took in Ronan, he could practically see all the thoughts flowing in his mind.

“I told you man,” He said, “Simple solution.”

“Cars. An entire _car_.”

Joseph smiled at him and leaned forward slightly over the center console.

“No— world, an entire _world._ ”

Ronan laughed at him, it wasn't a funny laugh, it was a disbelieving laugh, it seemed like it snuck up on him and forced itself out before he could stop it, but it was a beautiful laugh. Joseph always did love his laugh, it was contagious and he found a smile creeping onto his face and soft laughter bubbling up, filling him with the same fuzzy feeling his drugs gave him, the same feeling of not being him, the feeling of being wanted 

Their laughter died down but the smile remained on Ronan’s face as he locked eyes with him, he didn't want Ronan to leave, he didn't want to let him go, possibly for good this time.

“A drink to your discovery, what do you say Lynch?” He offered with a raised eyebrow, knowing full well how this night was likely to end. Ronan considered his offer, a flicker of familiarity flashed through his eyes, he also knew what the offer meant, he knew that if he accepted they both weren't going to back out.

“I definitely need that right now.” He said and settled back in his seat, it was permission and as much acknowledgment as he was willing to give Joseph's other offer.

Joseph nodded and twisted the key, pulled down the break and revved the car out of the lot, making a sharp turn through one of the many rows of Mitsubishis. Once he hit asphalt he pressed down on the gas and shifted gears. He was driving like he was racing, but he couldn't be bothered to slow down or be careful, he knew these streets better than anyone save the boy on his right and he knew that Ronan was loving the ride as he tapped his fingers to the song blasting through the speakers, a familiar enough tune seared into his memory from the last time he heard it. Joseph smirked a little bit and pressed down the gas, speeding through the back roads as fast as the car could take them.

They burst through the doors of the house just as loudly as their cars sounded tearing up the streets. Joseph was laughing loudly at something Ronan had said and he led the boy through the main hall and down the stairs to the one place he felt was a home for him.

The basement of the house was just as expansive as the rest of it, it had many rooms and lots of things inside them. By now Ronan had pulled ahead of him and he threw open the door to what was supposed to be a wine cellar but was now being used to store shelves of expensive alcohol and many bottles of pills and powers that could do anything you wanted them to and made you feel like you weren't in your body anymore.

“Pick your poison Lynch.” He said grandly and swiped a bottle off the shelf next to him, not bothering to look at what it was, he just wanted to get it inside his body as fast as possible. Ronan turned around and glanced at the shelf, there was a bigger selection than there was before.

“Did you dream these up too Kavinsky?” 

Joseph kicked the door shut and clicked the lock into place to keep his mother away from his stash.

He laughed and uncapped the bottle, taking a long drink from it, dropping it from his lips with a big grin. “You know it, baby, found I was pretty good at making special brews,” He said and walked closer to Ronan who had finally decided on something. “Good choice.” He smiled and held up his own bottle for a toast.

“To new discoveries.” 

Ronan smirked and uncapped the bottle, clinked them together and they both tipped their heads back and drank until they couldn't breath anymore.

* * *

One and a half bottles in, they had migrated into the basement theater in another room with a fresh bottle of something grabbed off the shelves in their hurried stumbling to get out of the room.

Now they were sitting on the floor where they had collapsed.

Joseph threw his head back and let out a loud laugh that jostled his entire body as Ronan tried very hard to hang onto whatever fraying self control he had left but there was too much alcohol in both their brains to do much for self control and he soon followed Joseph in loud raucous laughter.

“No you gotta be shitting me.”

Joseph shook his head and tipped his head back, draining the last third of the bottle before setting the bottle aside. “Nah, dude, the first thing I brought back from the dreamplace was, a fat stack of porn, about yay high.” He said and held his hand palm down about waist height. “I wasn't even good porn either.” He muttered and that broke Ronan it seemed because he let out a snort and started convulsing with laughter, Joseph following soon after him.

He heard the dull clink of glass hitting the ground and then Ronan collapse on his shoulder, shaking with giggles, that stopped Joseph dead cold. He looked down at Ronan on his shoulder. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted and Joseph noticed that they had shuffled closer and closer and were now sitting with their thighs pressed together.

Ronan's laugh soon died down and he reached over for his bottle, uncapping it and taking a long pull from it, not bothering to lift his head from where it was against Joseph’s shoulder.

Joseph turned his face away and reached for his own bottle, needing something to keep his hands and mouth occupied with.

He changed the drink and relished the burn of it down his throat where it served to distract him from the beautiful boy leaning on his shoulder.

He dropped the bottle and leaned his head back to rest on the seat behind him.

After a beat of silence, Ronan shuffled a bit and raised his bottle again, but this time he held it out in front of Joseph, a silent invitation. Joseph took a glance down and Ronan was a little too invested in the drag racing video on the big screen, he smiled and leaned forward the few inches and let Ronan pour the alcohol into his mouth. 

He pulled back and returned the favour, gently tipping his bottle into Ronan’s open mouth, tilting his head back more and more, then he took the bottle away and set it on the floor.

This was always how it started, first proximity, then with the silent invitation to have something that was his and a question to return the favour, to accept the coded message that said, _do you want it?_ Joseph always said yes, he always accepted, though he was usually the one to be asking in the first place.

Joseph wrapped an arm around Ronan’s waist and squeezed a little bit, turning his face to him, a small smile quirked onto his lips.

Ronan looked up at him through his lashes and took one glance at Joseph’s mouth before he leaned up and pressed their lips together. 

Kissing Ronan was like swimming in the ocean, it started off fine, peaceful, calm and fun, but with the warning of a gust of wind it changed, t got aggressive and demanding, it threatened to swallow up anyone who didn't know how to navigate the waters; but Joseph knew how to navigate these waters and come out alive the other side.

He shifted and gripped Ronan's hips, tugging him over to perch on his lap and tugged him down into another searing kiss, lips clashing together in a practiced way, hands settling into familiar spots and touches remapping an ever changing landscape of skin. This was not the first time something like this had happened and it was definitely wasn't the second but deep down Joseph knew that it was going to be either the last or one of the last times he was ever going to be allowed to have this, to want this, to want _him_.

Ronan tasted like alcohol and something similar to gasoline, a dangerous combination to have, but his lips felt like the sweetest drug, the kind that didn't pull you kicking and screaming into a pleasant high, rather his lips were the kind of drug that cradled you gently, kissed you stupid and lulled you into the best high you've ever had.

Joseph hummed softly against his lips and slipped his hands under Ronan's tank top, hands sliding up his back gently, fingers mapping the shifting expanse of muscles well earned from fighting and he gently dug his blunt nails in and dragged them down. Ronan moaned into his mouth.

Joseph slipped his tongue into the open mouth and pressed it against Ronan's teasingly before drawing back, inviting him to play along, and he did. They continued kissing for a while longer, bodies pressed together and mouths moving in a pleasant rhythm.

Joseph pulled away a hair's width away and breathed deeply, looking up at Ronan for a brief second to lock their eyes, a brief second to let him back out, before he pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then to his cheek, then his jaw, and then lower.

Joseph kissed his way across Ronan’s face and down to his neck where he went to work to remind himself where all Ronan’s favourite spots were.

He played it by ear, listened to the way Ronan's breathing hitched slightly. Divot behind his ear.

The slight breathy moan he made. Underside of the jaw. 

Felt how his hands slipped up into his hair and pressed him closer when he dragged his teeth over the junction of his shoulder and neck.

Joseph was more than happy to continue exploring Ronan's body, happy to find out any new spots he didn't know that could make him wraith in his lap, but a sharp tug at his hair stopped him and he let his head be pulled back and back and back, until his neck was exposed and Roan was biting down on his shoulder, soothing it with gentle licks and apologetic kisses that made Joseph moan out and press their hips together.

Ronan's body shuddered a little and he moaned softly into Joseph’s ear, rolling his hips down on him with much the same lack of gentleness.

“This how you wanna do it, doll?” He muttered into Ronan’s ear, biting on the lobe gently, pressing his hips up. Ronan nodded and pressed their lips together again.

Joseph kissed him back hungrily and pulled him close, using the position to shift them around a little, laying Roan back on the floor and settling himself more in between his legs.

He had half a mind to ask if this was how it was with Gansey, but even drunk off his mind he knew better than to ask and ruin the mood, teasing could be shoved aside until tomorrow morning, for now all he wanted to focus on was the beautiful boy underneath him, tugging him in with violent hands and angry kisses.

Joseph was not a gentle lover, he was not a gentle person, he knew he wasn't the type of person that could make someone feel like every inch of them was loved with soft touches, no, he was the kind of lover that made you feel wanted with harsh hands, bites, scratches and words that would make any good catholic boy faint. 

Ronan was not the type to need gentle love, he didn't need to be loved with gentle touches, he loved the rough hands that could take away the edge of other hurts.

Joseph was the perfect lover for when he needed to feel the physical effects he had on a person.

This, admittedly, was a very strange thought to have while in the middle of making out with someone, especially since that someone was currently wrapping legs around his waist and tugging impatiently at his shirt and keening into his mouth.

“Fuck, you're gonna be the death of me Lynch.” He said, pulling back, and he could have sworn he heard Ronan whine a little bit. 

Joseph smiled down at him, it wasn't exactly his sinister, drugged out smile, but it was a smile very similar to Ronan’s, it was knife edge sharp and promised many things.

“Come on, K.” Ronan grunted out, tightening his legs grip on Joseph’s hips.

“Take off your shirt.”

He did, without question and there was a strange feeling that welled up in his chest again, but his mind was too muddled by both the alcohol and the intoxicating effect Ronan had on him.

Joseph leaned down and mouthed at Ronan’s neck first, going for all the places he knew that Ronan loved.

He moved down lower and lower, taking his time to mouth along his chest, to bite into it and then kiss away the pain, to suck bruises in places where only Ronan could see them but where things also pressed into them so that Ronan would be feeling them all day.

He only stopped when he reached the top of Ronan’s pants and then pulled off from him, slowly pulling back.

He sat back on his heels and just watched Ronan laying on his floor; he had his arms at his sides, hands clenched into loose fists. Joseph’s eyes slid up slowly, admiring his work over Ronan’s chest, and a dull thrum of pride ran through him.

The pride was replaced with something else as soon as he reached Ronan’s face. He had a pretty red flush painted over his cheeks, his eyes were closed and his lips were parted and he took deep breaths to try and settle down.

Joseph stared at him for a bit, hands moving to hold his hips and his thumbs pressing into his hip bones, gently rubbing circles into them, this was the only person he would be a gentle lover for. 

Ronan did open his eyes soon after and they locked eyes for a split second before Ronan gave a small breathy laugh and reached out for Joseph, Joseph happily complied and leaned down to kiss Ronan again.

Ronan rolled his hips up and bit Joseph’s lips. “Be a dear and pass me the bottle, K.” He said and kissed his way to Joseph’s ear to nibble at it.

“You're insufferable.” Joseph muttered with a laugh and pulled back to reach for the bottles.

Ronan hummed and sat up, settling himself into Joseph’s lap again, grabbing his own bottle.

Joseph grabbed his and raised it to his lips, taking deep pull after deep pull from it.

Something in the back of his head told him not to, told him that this wasn't the way to go about this, that this wasn't the way to spend his last night with Ronan. As always he paid that part of him no mind, all he focused on was the beautiful boy on his lap, chugging amber liquid. 

The bottles were soon discarded again and then they were kissing, with the same ferocity of a wildfire, the sting of whiskey, but with the sweet lul of pleasant high, the cloudy sort of high that muddled your brain and made it feel like it was in a fog that smelled of the sweetest flowers.

That was Ronan Lynch, gasoline and wildflowers.

Ronan slowly slid one of his hands down and away from where it was tugging at Joseph's hair and slid it down his chest and rested it on the top of his jeans.

“Go ahead, Doll, remind me how good you are with your hands.” He murmured against his lips. 

Ronan nipped at his jaw and popped the button on his jeans then slid the zipper down before his hand was oh, so, slowly sliding down Joseph’s stomach again, then down into his underwear and finally wrapping around him.

Ronan moved his hand achingly slow and smirked at the impatient buck Joseph gave into his hand.

“Come on, Ro, be nice to me and I’ll be nice to you, fair trade.” He bargained desperately, wanting Roan to speed up or stop teasing altogether. 

Ronan hummed deep in his chest and presented to think it over, his hand not stopping it's slow and frustrating movements on Joseph.

Joseph was ready to beg him to decide faster when Ronan pressed their lips together harshly and sped up his hand to a fast and brutal pace. His hand was dry which made the whole thing rough but it was an oddly nice feeling, the contrast of having soft and sweet lips against his and a rough hand wrapped around his cock was a contrast of sensations that he could never really get over.

Joseph moaned into his mouth, hips bucking up into Ronan's fist as he felt the tight pulling sensation in his stomach signaling that he was close. Ronan could tell he was close, he always could and he tightened his hand a little bit more and matched his strokes to the rhythm of Joseph’s hips until, with a loud and gravely moan, Joseph spilled over his hand between them.

Joseph pulled away from the kiss and rested his head on Ronan’s shoulder, breathing heavily, trying to get himself into some working order as his brain cleared the fog from his orgasm but kept the haze from the alcohol.

“Want you to sit on that chair behind me, think you can do that?” He asked softly into Ronan’s neck and released his hips. 

Ronan obediently slid off his lap and moved unsteadily to sit in the theatre chair behind him. 

Joseph took the short time to tuck himself back into his pants and then spun around and shuffled his way over to Ronan, kneeling between his legs.

Ronan’s hands slid into his hair and tugged gently in a way that said  _ come on, you promised.  _ Joseph did indeed promise. He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Ronan’s still clothed thigh and reached up to unbutton his pants then slowly tugged them down a bit until the bulge in Ronan's underwear was exposed and out; he leaned forward and mouthed at it a little bit, relishing in the way that the hands in his hair tightened and tugged in pleasure and impatience. 

“Easy now, baby, I’ll give you what you want.” 

Joseph pulled the underwear down and smiled a little at the gasp Ronan let out. He leaned forward and pressed little kisses to the underside of his cock before taking the head into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue before slowly sinking down onto him. He slid down a few inches at a time, pressing his tongue to the underside and didn't stop until his nose touched skin and the head of Ronan’s cock hit the back of his mouth, making him gag a little bit. 

He stayed like that for a second before moving his head up again, tongue still dragging and then went down again. He bobbed his head at differing speeds, just enjoying Ronan’s sweet moans and whines and the occasional  _ Kavinsky  _ that slipped from his mouth.

Joseph hollowed out his cheeks and moved faster, earning him a deliciously sweet moan and a sharp tug to his hair that made him moan.

“Fuck, K.” Ronan moaned out and Joseph hummed again and sunk all the way down, swallowing around him as Ronan came down his throat.

Joseph smiled and grinned up at Ronan, laying his lead on his thigh as he watched the boy rearrange himself and his pants with slow hands, likely from the orgasm but the slowness was just as likely to be from the three bottles they had flowing through their bodies. 

Both of them stayed where they were for a while, catching their breaths and allowing their bodies to gather up the needed strength and coordination to be able to move into any sort of comfortable position to sleep in.

Joseph took the time to think back.

This wasn't new territory with Ronan, they’d hooked up before, under much the same circumstances. The first time they were both happily blanketed by the sweet taste of alcohol and driven by a curiosity to see how far they could touch the fire until they got burned, it was a game of automotive chicken that ended in a collision. The second time was better, it was familiar territory, and they used the alcohol to mask the fact they both needed the affection to cope, needed it as a distraction. There was never a proper third time; the third time was exactly like this one, Ronan had snuck out of the place he shared with his handler and crawled into Joseph’s arms, both of them needing the distraction, that time was nothing more than a few shared kisses and drinks before Joseph passed out from whatever he was on at the time and Ronan disappeared, both of them placated for the time being.

Soon Joseph had some feeling back in his limbs, and his head and body could properly coordinate to get him into a standing position. He stood up slowly and paused halfway to standing and pressed a slow kiss to Ronan’s mouth, gentle and loving, because he knew that this was going to be the last time he was allowed this, this was the last hit he was ever going to take of the drug called Ronan Lynch.

Ronan moved his lips softly and honey smooth against his, a hand reaching up to hold the back of his neck. Joseph smiled a little into the kiss and raised a hand to cup his cheek and then gently ran it up his face to massage gently at his buzzed head. 

He was slipping from consciousness slowly as the alcohol took the debt it was owed and he knew Ronan was feeling the same.

He pulled away and pressed their foreheads together, letting the smell of alcohol on their breaths mingle.

“Get some rest Lynch, we have lots to do tomorrow.” He said softly and pecked his lips one last time before he pulled away and watched Rona slump back in his seat, eye sliding shut and body going limp with sleep.

With The morning, the drug he called Ronan Lynch would be gone and he knew he wasn't going to get it back, but for tonight Joseph allowed himself to have this, to savor the memory of tonight for what little life he no doubt had left on this god forsaken planet.

“Dying’s a boring side effect of this.” he muttered as he turned off the long forgotten video, slumped in a chair and promptly passed out.

Dying was a boring side effect of overdosing on the drug named Ronan Lynch. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You made it to the end, congratulations.
> 
> I was debating adding in the missing 18+ scene but couldn't decide so I'm posting this as is and if I decide to add it in I will, or if I get literally one person saying they wanna see it, that's all it takes to convince me really lol  
> Let me know what you think and if you want to see the missing scene I omitted, but if you also wanna chat over the ship feel free, I'm all for it
> 
> EDIT 25/10/2020: I did it y'all, you asked for the 18+scene and I added it in there, if you asked for it, then I hope you like it, as always thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed
> 
> EDIT 17/11/2020: Hello my friend messaged me and said that someone had gotten a bit confused on where to scream at me, so to avoid them getting messages feel free to scream at me [on tumblr! ](https://big-heccin-concern.tumblr.com/)


End file.
